6 - 12 November 2011

What a week! Phew, glad it is over and with great results!!

First I want to share my photo contribution for this week to Eyes Everywhere (see link in the side bar or just click the words). Every month there is a new theme to collaborate on - from our separate parts of the world. November is SELF PORTRAIT: IN YOUR USUAL PLACE.

This photo was taken during the third shoot for my promo video for my SOON TO BE LAUNCHED indiegogo.com campaign to help raise funds so that I can GET TO KENYA... (those three dots are so that you know that more info is to come - same bat-time, same bat-channel)

Another exciting news item :  the photo above was taken yesterday at Aguafuerte Taller de Dibujo y Grabado, where I am currently an artist-in-residence - developing a series of lithographs for "Potential Spaces". But this photo is with Chilean artist Mariana Tocornal. I've been invited to participate in an exhibition entitled "Seis=Doce" (Six=Twelve), organized by Paula Cortés, director, Galeria Espora (Santiago de Chile). The prints that Mariana and I will make (printed by master printer and Aguafuerte director Iván Lecaros) will be paired together as a diptych! Paula paired us together even though we didn't know one another before yesterday - of, that is a lie, we met briefly at a dinner party at American artist Melissa Wyman's apartment when she was living in Santiago. Anyhow, I think Paula has great intuition. Mariana and I chatted for a long time yesterday - explaining our work and process to one another. We definitely have a lot in common, even outside of the visual similarities. I'm super excited!! More news about this show to come. P.S. other artist pairings: Melissa Wyman & Iván Lecaros, Felipe Santander & Paulo Toledo.

That's all the update for now - I think... I hope didn't forget anything, I've been doing that a lot recently. Thanks for reading! Woot woot! If you haven't already hit "like" on my facebook page, please do! And tell your friends! Gonna make this residency at Lake Victoria Arts Residency Program in February/March HAPPEN and I am going to need all the help I can get to spread the word!

until next time ...

a Sketch, a thought, something I am following

I have no idea what title to give this post.

So here I am, 2am and with insomnia - ok, not real insomnia, more like anxious thinking keeping me awake, but you know me: I like to self-diagnose. Lots of news and work to share - don't know where to begin.

The residency is going well. The project itself has had a lot of false starts (due, unfortunately to participants backing out or just simply not returning calls and/or answering emails - thank you to those of you who have), but I think we are finally getting going. Despite the material specifically for the project we have been researching in and around the city and we have each started our own projects. Matías has started these photo-portrait-collages. Not sure how to describe them, but once his website gets finished - they'll be up there and you can check them out. I have been doing some drawings, writings, and video-ing. Oh and I have been taking pictures. Ya know, taking in all that there is to offer here. And yet another "unfortunately" there is nothing sufficient enough to post, YET!

The drawings are based on gestures of couples: couples that I have seen interacting on the streets (then drawn by memory), or from images that I have taken. Some aren't even real couples, they are just a "couple o' people". The drawings are, of course, abstract - really, what would you expect?? I'll have to take pictures of a few and post them. [Yet, another thing on my list of things to do tomorrow - always tomorrow, but tomorrow really does get here quick!]

The photos are the same things you have always seen from me: funny juxtapositions, people on the street, pretty buildings ... I have been looking at them trying to find a camino, but one hasn't revealed itself yet.

The writings started as things on the computer, then mutated to actual physical writing in my sketch book (really, should I still call it that?? "sketch" when have you know me to sketch?), and then they became transcriptions from pretending that I am talking to an old friend (not anyone in particular, maybe I should choose someone).

Do you feel like this post is as anti-climatic as I feel it is? Oh well. I am in the smack-dab middle of the damn residency - what can one expect, really?

Oh the videos. These I am excited about. Not that I am not excited about the other things, but I feel like these have started to take a bit more form, even though I haven't actually touched any of the footage yet. Or maybe it is just because I think with these I am straying a bit from the gestures, or rather looking at them in a different way - AND starting to work with narrative again (that's how those texts started). In intimate situations (someone's home) I have been taking a lot of mise-en-scène (like how I am working on my French?) shots, which is something out of the norm for me. I have also been clandestinely recording these people's conversations. I don't know how this will all come together, but I like breaking out of my current usual. Who knows, maybe it won't turn into anything.

Residency at the Cité

Mati and I have an artist residency at the Cité Internationale des Arts in Paris this May and June.

Our project is vague. I mean, I figure that is ok, since the point is to develop the project during the residency and it will take more form between now and then and during then and after then.

Shall I copy and paste the proposal (in French)? Why the hell not:

Nous avons tous les deux un fort intérêt pour la communication et les méthodes de communication. Nous allons confronter nos idées et notre vision sur la perception et la réalité de la communication. En étudiant la façon dont les couples internationaux (c'est-à-dire les couples qui sont originaires de différents pays) surmontent la difficulté d'une communication simple et / ou des questions culturelles, notre idée n'est pas nécessairement de faire un documentaire, mais d'obtenir plein d'informations sur ce sujet à partir desquels nous pourrons construire notre exposition de retour à Santiago.

En outre, nous avons l'accord d'un couple, franco-américain (ayant des racines cubaines et mexicaines),qui vit actuellement à Paris.

This couple I speak of in the proposal, they don't really know that we are going to "study" them, and, honestly, I haven't decided if we should tell them or not (they are, obviously, friends of mine).

So, as vague as it is, we have started a blog (you can either click on the link on the left side panel or just click on the word blog - the latter or the former). Need I repeat that the project is in its infancy? Probably not, I have been pretty redundant about that - perhaps I am feeling inadequate. Oh well. Or should I say: tant pis.

The flights haven't been bought yet, but soon, yes soon. The residency is slated for May 3rd - June 28th. Ah, Paris in the springtime...

I no us preocupáis, esperem fer un viatge cap a BCN. Només cal treure una raó del no-res, vull dir una raó per "treball" és a dir del projecte. (Yes, google translate had to help me. Damn my català is so rusty, sigh)

Gesture and Contrived Realities

Much of the last week has been spent remastering and re-exporting videos for the web. As mentioned in yesterday's entry, I finally uploaded videos to my vimeo profile. And of course I am using them (well, the ones that have better quality) for my site - ah free bandwidth.

This has given me an extraordinary chance to truly look at the videos I have made over the years (even the in-camera edited one from 2002 - or maybe it was 2001). I found that even though I find text and language fascinating, I rarely use it in my work - or the dialogue that is present, I have not employed for its meaning, but rather for its noise or symbolism.

In When I grow up ... in particular, the words hold no meaning on their own, they tell no story. They story is in the gesture, in the symbolism, in the nonsense.

Similarily in día, the words only give the viewer reference to time of day and place in the world. The story is told through the order of the shots, the repetition of the actions, the gesture and acting.

This continues through every video, up to my most current work - where my MFA thesis (of 2008, which I think I may still be battling with) specifically and opening looks at gesture and its ability to tell a story - to construct a story, in fact.

I started constructing my stories through gesture, and now I document the gestures and allow them to construct their own stories. The gestures lead me to tell you what I see.

Walk with me, for instance, was nothing more than boredom on my friend's balcony in Barcelona. I saw that the women were walking in sync. I tried three times to get the right shot. I used their motions to guide me through the editing, to direct me (rather than me being the director), to reveal their story to me and thus to the viewer.

I am putting together (aka writing) a proposal for a residency, here in Chile. I have been looking at my work and the work of others (in particular Eija-Liisa Ahtila [just google her]), trying to make sense of things - ya know, in a cohesive and somewhat logical fashion. I always knew that something was missing from that series of 62 videos, but the question was: what? My thesis committee (and other faculty members) pushed me to figure that out. Unfortunately, things come when the come for me - be it slow or immediately. The missing part for this came about a year too late. I think I am a late bloomer when it comes to things of the mind, but that is besides the point. So, they pushed and pushed, and what came out? Writing: semi-poetic writing about the videos, attempts to explain in English what I saw and felt, an attempt to give the viewer more direction on how to see my work.

An aside would be how I feel about "telling" people how to see my work, but we can save that topic for another post - preferable one that isn't at almost 2am.

All in all, I think that what I wrote during those months (see thesis books) is very valid. In fact, that is where I am at with this body of work. I am interested in sucking the narrative out of the videos and finding the words. After the words have been extracted, I will need to refine them, to let them show me how their story plays out.

Well, I guess I should try to get some sleep. Any thoughts, as always, are welcome.
.

A lil less thoughtful ...

The excitement
literally
As the days get shorter my anticipation g r o w s

yes, again literally - for both you and me
Soon the climate will change

Life will seem back on track, but when was my life knot

Tied up
In knots
Bundled
Tight
Bound
errrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Goals may be clear

Or perhaps just as hay zee butt bottom derière quite contraire

Clear that each end begins a new knew what I was missing miss

ing Eye In Geezzzzzzzz

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

It's time.

Tie me.

Untie me.

Un Knot.

Nothing new

I give up. Well, at least while I am in this living situation. I will make no more art. I will only finish the documentary for my friends, my website, and my bio dad's website. I will read and write and think, but I will not make anything. I will not consciously work on a project. I may do some "documenting", but I will not look at what they may or may not become.

That's a two month hiatus from actively making art. This may sound drastic, but I think it will be for the better. I still feel like I need to clear my head.

But dammit, I do still have to make a few corrections to my thesis before I mail it to the library at school. Ooops.

Oh, the trials and tribulations of an artist and art educator

Today was the last day of the quarter, so to speak. I took on a mid-quarter class. So, technically I still have 3 more class of that (tomorrow and next Friday and Saturday), but otherwise my first quarter is over. A relief, in a way. I was totally thrown into this whole thing. Not knowing what I was teaching, until basically I was teaching it (which I now find out is generally common practice in academia). And additionally, teaching in the applied arts which, yes I know isn't that much different, but really, how it is taught is quite different - especially for someone who has always been on the fine arts side of the arts fence. The majority of the final projects this week went really well, but unfortunately one was not. So, this will be my first failing grade ever. I know that this is common, but the first is always the hardest. A friend of mine said, "They have to learn at some point that they only get out of it what they put into it." She is completely right. So my skin gets tougher. I am ok tearing a student apart (fine, not completely ok), but the whole grading thing makes my stomach turn.

The logistics of grading art are quite simple, really. Awesome is an A, Good is a B, Satisfactory is a C, Uh.... No is a D, and Completely Not is an F. I guess I never saw the value in grading, but that is completely idealistic of me. Many students, especially now aren't motivated and simply aren't interested in education, much less THEIR education. Oh, if it only were a perfect world every student would take initiative and responsibility for his/her own education. Ah, to dream.

As is to be expected, once a teacher, you understand your own teachers better, and in addition you have much more respect for them and feel ashamed of your own past actions (or maybe you were a perfect student...). As a teacher you then see yourself and peers (from long ago) in the actions of your students and reflect, "Oh times haven't changed only the methods of education." Students are always the same, but how we behave as teachers changes. Much of that is directed through technology, but more often than not (No, I do not have a degree in education) our teaching methods are influenced by how we were educated - whether that is a rebelling of the methods teachers imposed upon us or an admiration and imitation of their methods. That is where I struggle. Some methods were atrocious, but seemed to work. While others don't seem to have helped me in my studies, but made my experience less painful. That is journey, right?

And that is where I am at. I am about to embark on almost three days of solitude. I am about to stare at the wall, a tree, the grass, the sky, the lake... and think and mull over this past quarter, but truly over these past two years of graduate school, which I just finished, and all the time before that.

I will breathe.

Last night as I was about to go to bed, I thought I would read. It was almost 10pm and way to early to go to bed, but there wasn't much else I felt like doing, granted I wasn't exactly tired. I lain down and got out a book. Then, it occurred to me: I think, I will think. Thursdays (for the time being) are quite lazy for me. I spent the day watching some TV, reading news online, reading a bit of a book, writing emails, searching for festivals.... you know, normal stuff. What I realized is that I spent the whole day dodging thinking. So, I stared at the wall for a while. Then, I closed my eyes. Then, I stared at the wall. Eventually, I fell asleep - without any rush. What I did was clear my brain of unnecessary, irrational, anxious thoughts about life and the world. Then I think there may have been a moment when I had a few deep thoughts, just for myself, then I dozed.

I am sure that many people do that nightly, but somehow I have forgotten about that.

I am looking forward to a few days of unpacking my brain, of organizing some thoughts, and of being.

See you next week!

The Books Are Here!!

The books are here! The books are here! The books are here! Part one of two is done and printed/published! I ended up using Apex Book Manufacturing out of Georgia. They were fabulous. It is a short-run publisher. Many more options than lulu and much cheaper - though I would still suggest getting proofs done through lulu first. I am currently in the process of gluing in the envelopes for the DVDs - 3 of these sets will be sent to RED03(my petita gallery in Barcelona) to be sold there, others will be left at the library and given to my thesis committee, of course my family gets copies - and the rest are for sale -with or without the DVD. They will be available at the show in Charlotte. Yipeeee!


The show in Charlotte. I am so glad that I will be there next week so that I can FINALLY FINALIZE where the show will be and how it will be hung. As I mentioned before I am printing digital prints here, at Alfred. All of them are 15 x 20 inches. Ideally I will be able to install the video and have prints up. At my MFA exhibition I had the single projection, but with the space possibilities that I will have at Queens, I would like to reconfigure the set-up and make the show a multi-channel installation - choreographing the videos to work as a team of three projections.


Thanks to Rama Road Elementary School, where my mother works, I will have access to projectors, speakers, and DVD players - otherwise I might have to max-out another credit card - argh! The opportunity to separate the videos and choreograph them is súper exciting! Even though I would have had a single-channel installation at my MFA Exhibition either way, it is still rather invigorating to think of how I can WOW the visitors at my opening.



The choices for space are between the Max L. Jackson Gallery in the Watkins building (which is the art building) and the E.H. Little Fine Arts Center where the auditorium and the music recitals are held. The Fine Arts Center sounds like it will be a grand space, but without seeing either of these it is really hard. Hence, I can't wait until Monday!

Other than the show, I am still trying to print and bind the Qwertyuiop books before I leave. Looks like I may have time tonight, or else perhaps tomorrow.

New projects?¿ I am still looking for a Cortázar story to use. I found this amazing Max Aub play: ¿Qué has hecho hoy para ganar la guerra? (What have you done to win the war?) Obviously it takes place during the Spanish civil war in the 30s, but I don't see why it wouldn't be appropriate today. I would need to find the original and change it to reflect the times. Then I wouldn't need authorization from the translator. I would probably still need permission from the Max Aub Foundation. I wonder how much that might cost? Of course this would be a full-fledged narrative, more like día than the current work I am doing right now - that is unless.... hmmm. I will have to get back to you with that idea. I think I need to go shoot some photos and come up with my storyboard.

Shorts Proposal

Designed as a workshop, this course will encourage students to think and write visually to create short videos. Through a combination of theoretical discussion and hands-on technical training the students will explore modes of representation in a short duration format (5 minutes or less). Students will be encouraged to explore all of the genres that shorts are found (i.e. narrative, experimental, documentary, video art)

Diseñado como un taller, este curso anima a los alumnos a pensar e escribir visualmente para crear cortometrajes. A través de una combinación de charlas teoréticas y prácticas los alumnos descubrirán distintas formas de representar imagen en movimiento corta duración (cinco minutos o menos). Anima a los alumnos a explorar los distintos géneros que se encuentra en el cortometraje (por ejemplo: narrativo, experimental, documental, video arte).

Many artists have utilized video to tell personal stories, explore the formal qualities of the medium, and have invented new and unusual methods to express different realties. Students will produce and edit projects, which will be screened and discussed in class. Additionally, students will be expected to complete assigned readings and research.

Muchos artistas han usado el formato de video arte para contar historias personales, explorar las cualidades formales inherentes del video, y han inventado nuevos métodos para expresar distintas realidades. Los alumnos producirán y montarán sus proyectos los que serán proyectados y analizados durante el curso. Además, los alumnos realizarán lecturas relacionadas con el tema a tratar y harán investigaciones.

teaching

teaching in video in chile - ACTUALLY A POSSIBLITY!
WATCH OUT SANTIAGO
I'll fill you in later :)

chicago trip

itinerary

• shoot voyeuristic family shots
• shoot the mindy's (my surrogate sister) family
• shoot birthing
• shoot after birthing with evan and bridgett and fam
• shoooooooooooooot