nicole rademacher

Friday, December 14, 2007


Longing and Melancholy.

It is possible to make work about that. And it can work.

Sunday, December 9, 2007

by a friend

This was sent to me (via email) as a response to reading my thesis blog (I hope he/she doesn't mind that I am posting it):

my first memory is my mother changing my diaper on an antique green
vintage diaper changing thingy... it was in my room, in between two
windows and i actually remember having them changed there and loving the
colors in the room and the light. the wallpaper is still in the room
today and it is covered with little girls... a print. one girl is
swinging, one is standing under a gazebo, and another is playing a
viola. the colors are bright pink, yellow, white, and brown (this is
the early early 70's).

later on as a child i would stare at the wallpaper contstantly until i
could imagine the girls moving on the wall.

thought you may like that little story. memory is facinating isnt it?
something i find interesting about it is that a memory is what attaches
us to things in life. without a memory we do not feel the same way
about a place, object or a person. life is about experiences. our
lives are what we remember we experienced.

Friday, December 7, 2007

New Thesis Thoughts

Thesis: Memory is composed of real, imagined, and constructed realities. We construct these realities to form our own narratives.
A: What’s your first memory?
B: When I learned how to tie my shoes.
A: What do you remember from it?
B: Navy blue and red. I think my mother was there too. I felt very accomplished.
A: How old were you?
B: Four.
A: Is this your own memory?
B: What do you mean is it my own? Of course! It was my first memory.
A: I mean, did you form it yourself, or is it composited of things people told you, pictures, things you remember, and your imagination?
B: Well, I think it was just how I remember it.

There is no direct way to access your own memory, and the memories that you can access are never how they actually occurred. The setup of the randomized DVD format is to ‘emulate’ the memories and the process of retrieving them, a kind of daydream and retrieval. Sometimes the memories come full screen, some are smaller and appear as a fraction of the screen, sometimes they repeat. Words appear on the screen in between each video: play, mute, channel, stop, setup . . . They signal a relationship with the mechanics of video, of the DVD player. Initially the viewer forges relationships between the words and the video pieces. Soon the viewer realizes that the words simply refer to the remote control, therefore offering the viewer the illusion of control over their experience with the videos, the memories. Do the buttons on the remote control work? They seem to function, but upon closer inspection of the remote, the viewer realizes that there are no batteries. The control they experienced was an illusion.

Short-term versus long-term memory and subconscious. How are memories remembered? The constructed, manufactured, and real. Was it my memory or did I take it from someone else’s life? Did I see this intimacy between others on the street? Or had I experienced it myself? Memory fragments.